My mom and I started watching the Bachelor when it first
aired years ago and while I have missed several seasons in the long stint, I
have caught most. However, this season I
have been particularly emotionally invested in Sean and the women vying for his
love. I don’t know if it is my still
recovering health, planning my upcoming wedding or the stars of the show, but
it has really been heartbreaking watching the girls get kicked off each
week. I’m not denying claims that the
show is far from a “reality” show. I
think that maybe the events causing the bachelor and the contestants’ emotions
could be a bit staged or manufactured, but I have trouble believing that their
emotion is not real (at least for most).
The classic date on the Bachelor
has two equally important elements: the couple overcoming an obstacle that
pushes them out of their comfort zone and often terrifies them beyond belief
and spoiling them with lavish treatment even the richest of bachelor’s could
not afford on his own. Oh and lots and lots
of wine. I tend to find the first element most infuriating. Take for example last night’s episode. Sean had to know he had suspicions about
AshLee and he takes her on a boat to eventually stop in front of a cave and
there informs her that they have to swim through it to get to their private
beach. AshLee attributes her fear of the
cave to her fear of abandonment from being given up by her birth mother. She further states that she has to trust Sean
and take this leap. Well I for one was
never without love in my childhood, but still have a crippling fear of open
water (and what lives in it) and caves (and what lives in them). Secondly to borrow wisdom from Meatloaf “I
would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” I love Tim more than anything and in almost 2
months I will pledge to love him forever and I wouldn’t have gone through that
cave for him. Furthermore he would never
dream of asking me to. It feels a bit
like relationship hazing to me. I could
picture a senior sister in a sorority, saying something similar to a freshman
pledge. If you really want to prove your
loyalty to us you will streak the quad etc.
In the real world one typically only conquers fear of
commitment on a date, but that doesn’t mean that this psychology doesn’t come
into play in other areas of our lives.
Most everyone has in one way or another been involved in a team building
activity whether it have been through work, school, church, or other extracurricular
activity. When I started in my work training
program we took a day to go and complete a ropes course. Since heights have never been a huge fear of
mine this endeavor seemed fun, but it scared some people to the level that
swimming with sharks or cuddling tarantulas would have to me. Of
course it was still optional, but like many a Bachelor date those that chose to not participate, regretted it as
everyone excitedly talked about the thrill it gave them. Selma, a contestant on this season, actually
got sent home after choosing not to risk hypothermia by plunging into a
Canadian lake. Watching that episode, I
thought good for her, sticking up for herself and not being peer pressured into
taking a dangerous risk that she has no desire to do. Because if a man is going to judge you based
on that, you could do better. While not
all team building activities involve conquering fears they do always strive to
push participants outside of their comfort zone, which could describe the
entire taping of the Bachelor. There is something wrong with you if you
are perfectly comfortable watching the man you are “falling for” date other women,
so even the attention the bachelor shows them to ease these fears creates this
sense of overcoming something with a would be partner. Looking back on the training program, the
ropes course was one of my favorite experiences and really bonded me with my
fellow co-workers. So I can certainly
see where an experience like this would bond a couple with a budding
relationship.
I’m very hopeful that
on the “Girls Tell All” episode next week that all the girls are getting on
with their lives and any heartbreaks have been soothed. More thoughts on this to come!
