Interview Tips Part 4

7.  Make a great first impression – Most interviewers form their lasting impression of a candidate in the first 10 seconds, so make that count.  Make solid eye contact, smile, and greet the interviewer by name.  Make sure your greeting is warm and friendly:

·         “Great to finally put a face with a name!”

·         “Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me.”

·         “Wonderful to finally meet you.”

Most of the time interviewees awkwardness can be attributed to nerves, but so often people came into my office looking like they are walking into a FBI interrogation room.  Even if they eventually loosen up as the interview goes on we can’t get back the time wasted early on.  There may be some exceptions, but most interviewers do not get their kicks making people nervous.  I used to hate that as a recruiter because I tried my very best to make the candidate comfortable by being friendly, offering them a drink, and providing them with clear expectations of the interview, but some would still be shaking in their boots. 

Immediately be the one to extend your hand to the interviewer for a professional shake.  The only way to perfect the handshake is to practice.  Practice with friends and family and ask for feedback.  The best handshakes should be:

·         Firm, but not too firm!

·         Dry.  Miss Clammy Hands wipe your right hand off subtly before reaching for the interviewer’s hand.

·         Last one full shake (move up and down once) and then release.  Too much longer gets into the weird zone, but if it does make sure it is the interviewer holding on not you.

·         Comes with eye contact and a smile (most important part)

After the introductions let the interviewer lead the seating.  If they sit down then just take the chair across from them or wait for the invitation to take a seat.  This can be awkward, but can easily be a way to laugh together before jumping in.  Early in my career I had a business meeting with one of the senior managers in my department.  I went into his office and went to sit down in one of the 2 chairs across from his desk and instead of him sitting down in his desk chair he sat right next to me in the other guest chair.  I was so completely derailed by this unexpected placement that I froze in my position with one of my feet hooked behind the front chair leg.  I didn’t move for the entire hour long meeting.  After the meeting I attempted to stand up, but my entire leg was asleep and I subsequently tumbled towards him like Bambi taking his first steps.    After that meeting I learned about this being a tactic some interviewers take to throw off the interviewee or just in an attempt to make the conversation more casual/relaxed.  I gave him the benefit of doubt that he intended the latter, but if he was striving for the former he succeeded!  Do not be me, relax and roll with the punches! 

8.  Listen carefully to the interviewer – You will have a million things running through your head or it may feel impossible to hear the interviewer over the sound of your beating heart, but do your best to truly listen to what the interviewer is asking you.  Show them you are listening by making eye contact and nodding when applicable.  Repeating their words in your head is great way to comprehend what they are saying.  When they finish stating the question you should feel one of three ways:

·         You understand what they are asking and know the perfect answer already. However still take a thoughtful pause and deep breath before launching into your response.  If you don’t pause it looks far too rehearsed and appears you are not giving thought to your answer. 

·         You understand the question perfectly fine, but you don’t know your best answer.  Don’t just leave them hanging, but instead say something like “Great question, please give me just a minute to think through my response” or “Wow that has come up a lot, let me think of the best example to provide you.”

·         For whatever reason maybe you didn’t understand the question.  Maybe it was very complicated or you were too preoccupied with how much you are sweating to hear the whole question.  One of my biggest pet peeves was when a candidate would just ask me to repeat the question immediately after I finished talking.  I saw it as lack of respect for my time that they couldn’t glean anything from my question at all.  In this case the better responses are below:

o   “I want to make sure I am answering your question the best I can and it would be helpful to hear the second part of the question again, please.”

o   “Okay you are looking for a time when I led a team, let me think about that to recall a specific example.”  - This will give them a chance to interject and correct your understanding if necessary.

o   “I’m so sorry, but could you please repeat the question, I want to make sure that I understand it correctly.” – Worst case scenario, just genuinely apologize.  It can happen and maybe the interviewer will realize they were speeding along and slow down for the rest of the interview.

Also listen closely to the description of the company they will hopefully provide and their answers to your follow-up questions.  Engage the same active listening tips and include asking clarifying questions based on that information to understand it clearly.  Listening well is probably one of the most important things to do in an interview because I can’t think of one job that you could be applying for where being a good listener is not a qualification.  If you cannot manage to listen and understand in the interview how are you going to receive training, direction, and feedback once in the job?

Thanks for hanging with me so far and tomorrow we’ll wrap up with the final 2 tips!

Interview Tips Part 3

6.  Recall past experiences for use in interview questions. – As many of you know the most popular interview type these days is behavioral based interviews, where the interviewer asks you to describe past actions.  The reason this is so popular is that research as shown in and outside of the workplace that past behaviors are the best predictors of future behavior (good to remember for your personal life J).  Below are some common behavioral questions:

·         “Describe a time when you had lead a group.”

·         “Please share with me a time you had an ethical dilemma at work and tell me how you handled it.”

·         “Tell me about a time you had multiple priorities to juggle and how you handled it.”

I’ll venture to guess that if you’ve gotten stuck in an interview before it’s been on a behavioral based question.   If you are anything like me when asked a question like this without preparation your mind goes blank and you can’t remember what you had for dinner the night before let alone an ethical dilemma you faced possibly years ago.  Before an interview make a list of at least 10 work situations that could fit the most common behavioral type questions.  Below are some of the requirements to round out your list:

·         Make sure your situation is complex since you should be prepared to answer the follow-up questions that most likely will come.  You do not want to get into a situation where you have relayed every detail you can remember and then have 3 follow-up questions requiring more detail/analysis.  Also the more multi-faceted the situation is the more likely you will be to be able to use it for various questions.

·         It is always easiest to remember more recent events that have come up in your current or most recent job, but in the interview you do want the interviewer to see the full picture of you and what you are capable of achieving.  Make sure you identify examples in all relevant positions you’ve held.

·         To clarify from the prior point, as best as you can make sure the examples are professional.  Depending on where you are in your career this could mean different things.  If you are still in college or have little professional work experience your situations can span school projects, extracurricular activities, non-professional jobs, and internships.  Once you have several years under your belt in the professional world you should avoid examples from college unless they are the perfect fit and unique to you.  Before the following story please note I am married to a past Eagle Scout and have great respect for the Boy Scouts in general.  I interviewed a man several years ago who used an example from Boy Scouts for almost every question, until I prompted him to specifically give me work examples, where he seemed to freeze.  He had been out of college for at least 10 years and worked in a very similar job to the one I had open.

·         Think of examples that are fairly unique to you.  In college you were assigned a group project where one person didn’t pull their weight?  OMG you poor thing, I thought that never happened, please tell me more!  I guarantee this is not the reaction your interviewer is going to have.

Having trouble putting together this list?  Here are some steps to jogging your memory of your prior struggles and achievements.

·         Review your past and present job descriptions.  If you don’t have your job description (which is a great thing to print and keep with your records), just think through your major tasks and responsibilities in that job.  Think about the times when it was most difficult to complete these responsibilities and what the obstacles were.

·         Review old performance reviews (again a great thing to keep).  Many of us are raised to be humble, so it can be hard to toot your own horn, so look at these to recall what your manager said about you.

·         Think about the time you liked a prior or current job the most.  For me that was usually when I had met a challenge and felt proud of myself or a situation came up that I felt I had the perfect amount of training and expertise to handle.

·         Think of your most satisfied clients.  When I’ve gotten notes or emails from satisfied clients I’ve held on to them (mostly just for motivation when the going gets tough), but they are very useful in this exercise.  Don’t have clients you say?  Doubtful since most of us provide a service to someone.  For example my clients as a recruiter were the managers for which I was hiring and secondarily the applicants. 

·         Think about your failures.  I bet most of you won’t have any problem thinking of these because they have probably been played over and over in your head.  What you learned and how you came back from them are what will be most helpful. 

·         Consider your strengths and weaknesses and the examples of demonstrating both. 

·         Read sample interview questions, there are thousands of books, articles, blogs, etc. with just these. 

Got your list?  Now study, study, study!  Notice I didn’t say memorize because if you do your interview could come off too canned and rehearsed.  However remember enough about each to be able to recall and tailor your answer to the question you actually receive.  Also do not have the list out in your interview, if you do you run the risk of referring to it during the interview and that is a definite DON’T.

Tips 1-6 of 10 have all been about preparation!  That should tell you that preparation is over half the battle of an interview.  Look for the next 4 tips coming up soon that focus on the actual interview itself!

Girl's Best Friend

"Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend...  Never owned a dog."

These commercials are an instant cure to a bad day!  Our dog Gertrude could certainly have her own commercial like this.  When I came home from the hospital after my pulmonary embolism the once bouncy and energetic dog with a tongue that never stops licking changed completely when I got home.  For the weeks and months during my recovery, she was like Velcro on my body, but just a calm presence.  Even when my mom left to go home and Tim went back to work, I was never alone in the recovery with Gertrude (below) by my side.  How she was there for me in my time of need somehow cemented my love for her even more.

Hope you enjoy this cute videos and hug you pup (or someone's else's)!

Creative Interview Outfit

Creative Interview Outfit by genevieve320 featuring kate spade jewelry

Ann Taylor black dress
anntaylor.com

Black pumps
nastygal.com

Kate Spade leather purse
katespade.com

Ann Taylor pearl necklace
anntaylor.com

Kate spade jewelry
nordstrom.com

Essie nail polish
kohls.com

Corporate Interview Outfit

Corporate Interview Outfit by genevieve320 featuring a leather crossbody purse

Ann Taylor ruffle top
anntaylor.com

Tahari by Arthur S Levine suit
lordandtaylor.com

Zara court shoes
zara.com

Kate Spade leather crossbody purse
nordstrom.com

Ann Taylor beading jewelry
anntaylor.com

MICHAEL Michael Kors bracelet jewelry
nordstrom.com

Reeds Jewelers sterling silver stud earrings
fashion.ebay.com

Interview Tips Part 2

Interview Tips Part 2

3.  Dress for Success – Many people think they have this one down, but trust me not everyone does.  For most job interviews a suit is always the way to go, however that does not mean the it has to be black, plain, and with a neutral color button down shirt on underneath (however men this is the only way you can really go on shirts).  While you want to look sharp and professional, your outfit is the way to show some personality, so use it.  If you are interviewing at a more creative organization – for example graphic design firm etc. you can stand to be trendier, but I wouldn’t take this as an excuse to be more casual.  See ladies two outfits I put together one for a corporate environment and one for a more creative workplace in a separate post. 

For ladies stick to classic hair and make-up looks.  There are so many funky nail art trends happening now, but I personally believe they have no place in an interview and most corporate offices.  This doesn’t mean no colors, but stick to colors that have stayed popular over the years my favorites are red or mauve.    

Make sure your clothes fit you well, a cheap suit can suit can look great if it is tailored for you and an expensive suit can look like crap if it’s too tight or loose.  My husband went to a Catholic high school with a strict dress code.  Their advice was “if you have to ask, don’t wear it.”  If any of these questions cross your mind then try a different look.

            “Is this too tight?”

            “Am I showing too much cleavage?”

            “Does this match?”

            “Is this too short?”

Even if these really are not true, if it has crossed your mind you will probably continue to worry about it and headed to an interview you have enough things to fret over.

Men – you do have it much easier in this category, but still deserves some thought and attention.  I would stick with a neutral (preferably white shirt underneath your suit) with tie with a simple pattern and classic color (can’t go wrong with red).  Make sure your suit fits you well, all pieces are neatly pressed, and shoes shined.  Female interviewers are typically very observant about clothes, but from talking to male interviewers I find they can be more critical because they are used to abiding by the same rules they are judging you on.  Women have to be very wary on how tight clothes accentuate their body, but men can be guilty of that as well.  One of my funniest experiences in recruiting was when an amateur body builder/financial analyst interviewed for a job in a suit entirely too small for him.  His pants were so tight that he needed to empty his pockets of his keys, wallet, and phone when he sat down. 

4.  Get to the interview right on time.  – Obviously not late, but also do not walk in more than 5-10 minutes early.  However it is smart to arrive to the location much earlier than that.  When I was a recruiter in Charlotte it used to really yank my chain when people would sometimes show up 20-30 minutes early to the interview (I once had someone show up 45 minutes early).  The interviewee is not the only one that has to prep for the interview.  I would have notes about all of the candidates on my desk, maybe not have freshly applied lipstick, etc.  I would feel rude making an interviewee wait, but sometimes it was tough to get into the groove of an interview without my prep rituals.  Why it particularly annoyed me was the fact we had a coffee shop on the first floor of our building where they could have waited before coming up at a reasonable time.  For my recent interview at my new real estate agency, I got there 20 minutes early and took that time to sit in my car freshen up, breathe deeply, and look over my company notes (see tip 1).  When I walked in I felt ready and confident and exactly 5 minutes early.  Not to toot my own horn, but I walked out of the office with a job offer.

No matter how much time you allow for travel time, I would still do a dry-run if it is feasible.  Even with your Google Maps printout and your trusty GPS, the office can still be tricky to find and the dry run will insure that you figure it out before you’re dressed to the nines and nervous as hell.  Make sure you know exactly where to park and the door you are going to use to enter the building.

Even with all of your planning and good intentions things can still happen and interviewers understand that (or at least should).  Call as soon as you know you are going to be late.  In the age of cell phones there is no reason to not make someone aware of your tardiness.  Take a deep breath and continue to drive safely.  If you’re already late think about how late you would be after getting pulled over or worse in an accident.  When you get there sincerely apologize and do not let it throw off your rhythm in the interview.  If everything else is a slam dunk they would be stupid not to hire you due to someone else’s accident on the freeway.

5.  Be prepared with all the materials you could need. – Make sure you have a professional portfolio or notebook (that doesn’t look like you would use in English 101) and a working pen.  Have these items handy and after you shake hands with the interviewer set them up for yourself.  It may seem silly to get this specific, but I’ve seen countless times (especially women who have their supplies in their purses) in their initial nerves forget to ever take them out and use them to take notes.  No need to write down every word that comes out of the interviewer’s mouth, but jot done key points that will jog your memory of the conversation later.  Below are some reasons to take notes during an interview:

• It shows the interviewer that you are interested in what they are saying and learning more about the position and the company, in a way that merely nodding along just cannot
• You will save yourself from asked questions that have already been answered.  That is a clear indicator to the interviewer that you are not listening to them and implies you don’t care about what they have to say.
• It makes the interview feel more like a two way street and a meeting between professionals.  This for me makes me feel less nervous and I converse more comfortably.

Stay tuned…..  

Interview Tips Part 1

My days in Human Resources are numbered!  As of the end of September I will be leaving my job at the bank where I have worked since graduating college to start a career in real estate.  In the last couple of months I have moved from North Carolina to Louisville, Kentucky to be close to my husband’s family and so he could work for his father in real estate.  I have decided to make the step out as a real estate agent and he is focusing on investment and property management with the family business.  This is a big pretty scary step which I get more and more excited for each day.  Since real estate is truly a people driven business I am confident I will use a lot of my skills from my five years in HR, but maybe feel a little wistful about leaving the wild and wonderful world of Human Resources.  In these last weeks I plan on a least a couple of blogs from what I’ve learned in this industry. 

My first job after the training program at the bank was in recruiting and one which I truly loved and challenged me.  I recruited for very little entry level positions so at 22 I started talking with seasoned professionals to determine if they would be right for my organization and specifically the position, team, and manger for the opening.  Companies all hire differently and in my particular company and job I would market the position, directly source candidates, review and pare down resumes, conduct the first interview by phone or in person, set up the interview with the direct manager, consult with the managers after they interviewed the top candidates, and finally facilitate the job offer process.  This process is most consistent with a large corporation, but my hope is the tips I list will resonate and help those interviewing with companies of all sizes across industries.  However please note these are just my thoughts and ramblings backed up by my own experience and those of my peers, but at the end of the day just my opinions!  The next several days I will be releasing my top interview tips and below starts us off with preparation: 

1.    Do your research!  I wish this did not need to be stated, but so many either keep their research surface level or skip it all together.  Put together a cheat sheet with the at least the following (keep it tucked away in your notebook for the interview or right in front of you for a phone interview). 

·         Full Company Name – know more than the just the acronym, if possible find out where the name originated

·         Brief Company History – you don’t need to write a novel about this, but having a good idea of the history provides a solid foundation for getting to know the company further

·         Industry – know what governance and regulations affect the company (can you tell I worked for a bank?)

·         Competition – know the competitors and how the company you are interviewing with stacks up

·         Culture – in addition to what you can find online (which is usually a lot), ask around with family or friends to identify someone in your network that has worked there

·         The Person that is Interviewing You – make sure to have their name written down and use it.  Look them up on LinkedIn and gather enough information without falling to deeply in the stalker range

For the love of God keep this information straight on the different companies you may be interviewing with!  Nothing shows the interviewer your passion and enthusiasm for their company quite like you mistakenly rattling off facts about a competitor (not!).  Also if you haven’t researched the details completely don’t go in to extreme detail and don’t make assumptions!  One of my favorite stories was a college student I interviewed who went on and on about how she thinks it is so great my company had a female CEO.  From reading my blog you know I’m all about female empowerment, but in this case I was not impressed because had she looked at our CEO’s biography a bit more closely and she would have realized that he is a HE and just has a unisex first name. 

2.    Find a connection at the company or at least the industry and talk to them before your interview.  – Contrary to popular belief you can get a job without connections even at the most competitive companies.  You could also probably run a marathon in flip flops, but if you have access to running shoes why would you?  No one at the finish line is going to cheer for you harder because you’re the idiot in sandals and you will probably get beat by many runners with similar or inferior abilities.  So make things easier for yourself and once you can identify that person in your network try and get together for coffee or even just a phone call to learn more about the company and their career.  Think there is no way you’ll find someone in the company or even industry?  Try these tips….

·         Start by asking people you know in that industry.  For example if you play on a kickball league with a real estate agent.  I’d say something like “I have an interview with XYZ Realtors in a week and I know you know everyone who’s anyone in real estate in Louisville (see how I stroked their ego?), do you know anyone who works or has worked at XYZ, that could give me advice based on their career there?”  Best case scenario she can come back with – “Yes I started with John Smith and he went over to XYZ a couple of years ago and loves it. I’d be happy to arrange a meeting for you.  Oh and by the way my company is always looking for new agents and I’d be happy to talk with you about ABC Realtors, didn’t know you were interested in a career in real estate.”  Worst case scenario – she could answer that she doesn’t know anyone there, but would be happy to give you information on her experience in real estate.  Also keep in mind you may go through several levels of acquaintances to get to the right person. 

·         Use LinkedIn to identify the connections.  Sometimes you can even bypass your connection (important when you are crunched for time) especially if it’s very friendly and is asking very little of them.  People join LinkedIn because they want to share expertise and “link” with people so they are typically quite receptive.  For example messages like the following could easily get you a phone call. 

·   I see that you are connected with my past colleague Susie Jones, whom I think very highly of; would you have some time to talk with me about your experience at XYZ Realtors?

·   We are both members of Young Professionals Louisville and I see you work at XYZ Realtors.  I am very interested in a career path like yours.  Could I buy you a cup of coffee and pick your brain about your experience?

·         Use your college or university.  Career centers love to keep track of where their graduates work because it makes them look better!  Use boards or groups on their website to find people or better yet call your career services center or alumni center. Tell them what you are looking for and see if they can make the connection for you to fellow alumni in your desired company or industry.

·         Still feeling overwhelmed?  Play a round of six degrees of Kevin Bacon to boost your confidence and look again more creatively this time.

Do not lead with requests for a reference (other than advice and expertise).  Make the conversation about them by asking about their job, experience, and thoughts about the company.  Use this chance to learn about the dynamics.  Most people love to share and you can glean lots of helpful information without the person even realizing the nuggets they are providing.  For example they could mention casually that the manager is a huge University of Louisville basketball fan and you can add the Cardinals starting line up to your research list.  The minimum you should get from these conversations is information about the company and of course the maximum is their good word with HR or the hiring manager.  Just think if it comes down to a tough decision between equally qualified candidates that positive reference the manager heard at the water cooler about you could tip the scales in your favor.  Also managers want new employees to fit in with the team and what better way to show your ability to do so than already having bonds within the company.

This series for the most part is making the assumption that you have landed an interview (even if it is just with a lowly HR employee), but you may have already used a contact to get that interview.  Do not let the relationship with that person be limited to just getting you the interview.  Stay connected with your contact whether it be your best friend or you friend’s second cousin twice removed throughout the process and learn as much information as you can to use as you interview.  Always remember your manners and thank, thank, thank them for their help.

More to come tomorrow…..

The Tale of "Lady Houdini"

Magic especially of the death defying sort has never appealed to me in the least.  And while a story on “All Things Considered” on NPR about Kristen Johnson aka Lady Houdini captured my attention completely, I will probably never want to see her live.  The only times I watched these types acts, I have always been thinking that this will be the one time something goes wrong and I will witness an extreme tragedy.  These shows/acts are very much dominated by men.  Before learning more about Kristen Johnson, I would say probably because most women are too smart to put themselves in such great danger, but Johnson seems like a pretty smart cookie.  She graduated from University of North Carolina and worked for several Fortune 500 companies. 

It was Johnson’s mother’s diagnosis with cancer that got her into this unique industry.  She took a break from her desk job to help her mother run the family entertainment business.  From there she met and married her husband Kevin Ridgeway a fellow magician.  He wanted to start a show with her, but for her to agree it was important that she not be the “lovely assistant.”  Boy did she ever stick to that!  She has performed many escapes using ropes, handcuffs, and straightjackets, but none seem as excited to her or viewers as the water escapes.  She has surpassed Harry Houdini’s record of water torture cell escapes (at 1,001); she is the only woman practicing these escapes, and is the only person to complete them in full view.   

Johnson first performed the water torture chamber escape was in 2003 and she had trained the year prior.  She practiced picking locks and trained with a dive master to slow her heart rate and increase the amount of time she could hold her breath.   At the top the chamber she takes many deep breaths, followed by one final gulp and submerges herself into the water.  From there she removes a bobby pin from her hair and her uses her french-manicured fingers to work at the locks.  While it is masked in strong determination, you can see the fear in her eyes.  When she finally rose to the top I expected to see a calm cool reaction (and a gasp for air), but she raised both fists in the air proudly.  While certainly this has entertainment value, you can see she must do it for the rush of adrenaline that comes from another successful escape.  While she has conquered it many times she has reason to be fearful in remembering the two times she blacked out from a hypoxic seizure in the water, barely making it out alive and third where she could not complete picking the lock on the lid.  If that causes anyone to discredit her abilities keep in mind with her current escapes she is performing with an error rate of 0.27%.  While they do run their show as a partnership, with Kevin Ridgeway focusing more on illusions, it is almost a comical gender role reversal that in her act he does appear to be the “lovely assistant," until of course there is a problem and he struggles to save her (looks to be as hard to get in that chamber as it is to get out).      

While Kristen has a very busy performance schedule, she takes time out to speak to women and young girls about her story and especially focus on self-esteem.  Hers is a unique story of plowing past gender norms and I think we can use her feats to inspire us in our endeavors both in our career and personal lives.  At a minimum it should remind us that most of our problems are not life or death and probably not as strenuous as escaping a water torture chamber.  

Read more about Johnson on "All Things Considered" and her website.  And for the braver souls then me check out when this amazing pair come to a city near you!

All Things Considered

Living Illusions

Bachelor Heartbreak

My mom and I started watching the Bachelor when it first aired years ago and while I have missed several seasons in the long stint, I have caught most.  However, this season I have been particularly emotionally invested in Sean and the women vying for his love.  I don’t know if it is my still recovering health, planning my upcoming wedding or the stars of the show, but it has really been heartbreaking watching the girls get kicked off each week.  I’m not denying claims that the show is far from a “reality” show.  I think that maybe the events causing the bachelor and the contestants’ emotions could be a bit staged or manufactured, but I have trouble believing that their emotion is not real (at least for most). 

The classic date on the Bachelor has two equally important elements: the couple overcoming an obstacle that pushes them out of their comfort zone and often terrifies them beyond belief and spoiling them with lavish treatment even the richest of bachelor’s could not afford on his own.  Oh and lots and lots of wine. I tend to find the first element most infuriating.  Take for example last night’s episode.  Sean had to know he had suspicions about AshLee and he takes her on a boat to eventually stop in front of a cave and there informs her that they have to swim through it to get to their private beach.  AshLee attributes her fear of the cave to her fear of abandonment from being given up by her birth mother.  She further states that she has to trust Sean and take this leap.  Well I for one was never without love in my childhood, but still have a crippling fear of open water (and what lives in it) and caves (and what lives in them).  Secondly to borrow wisdom from Meatloaf “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”  I love Tim more than anything and in almost 2 months I will pledge to love him forever and I wouldn’t have gone through that cave for him.  Furthermore he would never dream of asking me to.  It feels a bit like relationship hazing to me.  I could picture a senior sister in a sorority, saying something similar to a freshman pledge.  If you really want to prove your loyalty to us you will streak the quad etc. 

In the real world one typically only conquers fear of commitment on a date, but that doesn’t mean that this psychology doesn’t come into play in other areas of our lives.  Most everyone has in one way or another been involved in a team building activity whether it have been through work, school, church, or other extracurricular activity.  When I started in my work training program we took a day to go and complete a ropes course.  Since heights have never been a huge fear of mine this endeavor seemed fun, but it scared some people to the level that swimming with sharks or cuddling tarantulas would have to me.  Of course it was still optional, but like many a Bachelor date those that chose to not participate, regretted it as everyone excitedly talked about the thrill it gave them.  Selma, a contestant on this season, actually got sent home after choosing not to risk hypothermia by plunging into a Canadian lake.  Watching that episode, I thought good for her, sticking up for herself and not being peer pressured into taking a dangerous risk that she has no desire to do.  Because if a man is going to judge you based on that, you could do better.  While not all team building activities involve conquering fears they do always strive to push participants outside of their comfort zone, which could describe the entire taping of the Bachelor.  There is something wrong with you if you are perfectly comfortable watching the man you are “falling for” date other women, so even the attention the bachelor shows them to ease these fears creates this sense of overcoming something with a would be partner.  Looking back on the training program, the ropes course was one of my favorite experiences and really bonded me with my fellow co-workers.  So I can certainly see where an experience like this would bond a couple with a budding relationship. 

 I’m very hopeful that on the “Girls Tell All” episode next week that all the girls are getting on with their lives and any heartbreaks have been soothed.  More thoughts on this to come!

"Then Came You" - Jennifer Weiner

Since reading her breakout hit "Good In Bed" in high school I have read all of Jennifer Weiner's books.  Unfortunately for me and many other women, none of her subsequent eight books have quite lived up to her first.  As I write this I wonder to myself why have been such a loyal reader for the last ten years?  It is because regardless if the story falls a little short or feels unrealistic, Weiner always writes remarkably well.  Her books are witty and fast paced.  The reader feels as though they are sitting down with a good friend.  There is no getting in to the story, you immediately are intrigued by the characters and their lives. 

What I think Weiner has done well in her books following "Good In Bed," is develop very different female characters.  Her first book certainly seemed to be very autobiographical.  The main character, Cannie Shapiro, was a slightly overweight woman in her early thirties, who was a Princeton graduate, Philly native, daughter of a lesbian, and whose trusty sidekick was a sassy rat terrier, all of which fit Weiner herself.  While it does fit Weiner, so many other women can connect with Cannie.  Her next book "In Her Shoes," had a similar plain Jane character with an over the top beautiful sister (played by Cameron Diaz in the poor movie).  "Certain Girls" followed a couple novels after and revisited Cannie, later in life and explored her relationship with her pre-teen daughter.  Most every book seems to also contain a wise much older woman (grandmother, aunt, friend) who perfectly embodies all of the positive attributes of each "Golden Girl" character.  While these have been great introductions to Weiner and wonderful reads, it was refreshing to read her other books with new and different characters.

While this book could be her most unrealistic story she has written to date, she managed to develop strong female characters from drastically different walks of life.  The story follows surrogate pregnancy using an egg donor.  The egg donor is a young, smart, and stunning (the descriptions of her beauty seems endless)  Princeton college student, who is solely providing the "donation" for the money.  The surrogate is a young, struggling, army wife and mother, whose self professed only accomplishment to date is two successful pregancies, so she sees this as a way to use her skills to provide for her family.  The mother is a incredibly wealthy trophy wife, who due to her age cannot get pregnant on her own, but also seems happy to be able to delegate the task out to others.  Weiner rounds out this female cast of characters, by also illustrating the trophy wife's privileged stepdaughter.  While each character is quite extreme and unique, most readers will identify with qualities or backgrounds of each character.  One of the most intriguing aspects of the novel is that the surrogate and the trophy wife, strike up an unlikely bond.  Each woman is envious of the other for what they have (real or perceived), but have an extreme gratitude to each other for the service provided, that they lean on one another during difficult times.  Another very interesting relationship is that of the egg donor and her love interest, which is both surprising and heartwarming.  The downside to the larger cast of characters, no one woman seemed fully developed in the story.  It certainly would not be surprising if a character or characters make a reprise in a central role in a future novel. 

If you are a Weiner fan, you will enjoy this quick and captivating read.  You will laugh and maybe even shed a tear or two while enjoying another jaunt with an old friend.  If you have never read Jennifer Weiner before please start with "Good In Bed!"  Do not let the title fool you, it is a far cry from "50 Shades of Grey."  Anyhow is the age of the Kindles and Nooks, you can privately enjoy it even in a crowded coffee shop or airport.  Of her others my favorites are "Little Earthquakes," "Fly Away Home," and "Goodnight Nobody."  Also look for my upcoming post on her most recent novel "The Next Best Thing."

Happy reading, y'all!

Buy it on Amazon!

Tails of Obedience School

Last night we went to our second obedience class with Gertrude.  Even though we have had her now for about a year and a half we have some work to do in the training department.  We got very lucky with Gertie because when we got her she was for the most part housebroken.  Also being only 10 pounds she could get away with behaviors that would be intolerable in other breeds (jumping up being the prime example).  She knew some pretty basic commands, but was really only successful when Tim and I were the most interesting thing around.  We were up a creek when a squirrel or another dog was in sight. 

One thing that Gertie really needs to work on is socializing with other dogs.  She is usually fine with dogs her size, but gets nervous around bigger dogs, which is a bit of a problem since most any dog is bigger than her.  She also gets very aggressive when dogs sniff her butt, which again is a problem because that is what all dogs do!  Honestly I don't blame her, it does seem like a really rude way to greet a stranger.  Luckily for her the other 7 dogs in the class are very friendly and happily put up with her 'tude.  Almost all of the dogs are also rescues, so the owners also understand that our dogs have histories that we really aren't and never will be privy to.  Already this week over last, she was much more comfortable with her classmates and even let one quick butt sniff slide!

Since we haven't tried much training, we didn't fully realize how smart she is.  She picked up on tricks so quickly, that the teacher made us blush by insisting the class watch how well Gertrude was doing with each command and joking that she wanted to graduate early.  Last week we made the mistake of bringing dog treats (stupid us), while the people on either side of us had brought cut up hotdogs.  It was a little pathetic that Gertie was begging from our neighbors, especially since she was dancing around on her hind legs.  With our hotdog pieces in tow, she was game for anything last night and it showed!

In this class it really seems true that the owners resemble their dogs (in a good/cute way).  One woman shares with her Golden-doodle not only their hair color (reddish blonde), but also the same extroverted, friendly demeanor.  There is another woman with her Shit-Tzu mix, shares the same dark grey hair color and style!  Our favorite dog is a beagle mix who is shaped like a bowling ball and shows about as much energy and enthusiasm as one.  She couldn't care less about the other dogs and cannot seem to figure out why we are bothering her during her naptime.  Her mom also has a laid back vibe and is content with her dog not perfecting all commands.  Obviously this all made me wonder if the others are thinking that of us and Gertie! 

It has been a blast so far and I can't wait to share more tails!

Oatmeal Smoothie

This weekend we bought the Magic Bullet blender set with a gift card we had from our
engagement party. We had registered for a blender, but I have recently be craving
smoothies and seeing lots of healthy recipes on Pinterest. I figured it was a solid
investment before the wedding, since hopefully I could use it to lose weight for the
wedding.

This particular recipe sparked my interest because it has oatmeal in it! Sometimes
oatmeal can be a fairly boring breakfast (especially every single day), but I’m always
impressed by how it keeps me full to lunchtime.  See the recipe below on Martha Stewart's website.  Check out how instead of blend, she says whir, leave it to her to make smoothie cooking sound fancy!

  Try it for yourself!

Took me a bit longer this morning to make the smoothie than I think it will after I get
used to it. While I seem to have gotten the most straight-forward and easy blender it’s
still new and electronics and appliances have never been my strong suit! However it
was worth the wait! It was very tasty and a great sized portion. The oatmeal gives it
kind of an interesting texture, but I got used to it quickly. Got in the office at 6:30 this
morning to finish up a report and as sad as it sounds the smoothie made my morning so much better. Often when I'm busy I get sucked in to work in the morning I forget to eat breakfast and once it gets late enough I figure that I should just wait until lunchtime. Then I end up feeling extra tired and a little sick. This smoothie kept me going until lunch and almost to the completion of the report I spent the better part of the day tackling!

Inspiration from Nora

Even though it has been almost five years since I graduated from college, this commencement speech at Wellesley feels very relevant and inspirational to my current life.  One of her most re-quoted statements in this speech has inspired this blog.  I think as women especially young women, we often forget that we need to be our own heroines.  The last year or so has been a time of extreme ups and downs.  I got engaged and have spent a lot of time planning our upcoming wedding (big up).  In my professional life I have had some great successes, none coming without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears mixed with mistakes along the way.  Most recently and probably importantly I had a pulmonary embolism that has given me a new and unique perspective on my life that could have been just as easily been taken away from me.  After spending a week in the hospital, it has been a slow and difficult recovery, but the only thing I can do is focus on taking on life one day at a time.

We as women also quickly forget how far our gender has come in a relatively short period of time.  When Ephron talks about the world she graduated in 1962, it sounds light years behind where we were in 1996 when she made this speech, which seems further back from 2013.  As I am approaching my new life chapter as a wife, these thoughts have moved into the forefront of my mind.  I have always fancied myself a bit of a feminist, but also consider myself pretty girly and I enjoy some very traditional women's activities.  As I move through my twenties I will continue to find that balance and continue to realize these are not mutually exclusive aspects of my personality.  All of this said below are my goals and topics for the future of this blog:

• Book reviews, thoughts, and lists.  I have always been an avid reader and recently have been trying to step out a bit of my comfort zone of chick lit and mysteries.
• Movie and television reviews.   
• Wedding planning tips and musings.  Our wedding is in May and we are now into crunch time!
• Heath and fitness posts.  I am struggling to overcome my pulmonary embolism, while getting fit for my wedding and shedding some weight I've put on the last couple of years.
• Funny thoughts and commentary on becoming a domestic goddess (ha!). 
• Inspiration that I have gathered from others (Nora Ephron among them).
• While I don't see this blog becoming a career advice site, I do work in Human Resources and have lots of opinions and observations of the workplace which I'm sure it will work its way in sometimes.
• For those that know me, this goes without saying, but I will most likely have lots of posts and mentions about animals.  Our children are a miniature dachshund mix, Gertrude, and a cat nearly three times her size, Bruce.  I am also committed to serving animals in my community through volunteering and those experiences always come with both sweet and sad thoughts.

I look forward to sharing all of the above and much more with you.  Above all how I am working to be the heroine of my life!

~Gen